


One Point To Progress

by hanky16



Series: Diary of a Broken Heart [3]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: 4+1 Things, Alcohol, Colin Wilson as the expert on feelings, EJ is an old man, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:42:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23746276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanky16/pseuds/hanky16
Summary: Four times Cale and Tyson had quarantine dates that progressed their relationship and the one time it drove them apart.... because it figured that as soon as Tyson started navigating his feelings for Cale, the world shut down.
Relationships: Tyson Jost/Cale Makar
Series: Diary of a Broken Heart [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683802
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	One Point To Progress

**Author's Note:**

> Shameless quarantine addition to this universe.
> 
> In the same universe as "If You Cared You Wouldn't Have Asked" but can be read as a standalone fic
> 
> Titles are from various songs but "Let's Hurt Tonight" by OneRepublic is the vibe if you want to check it out!
> 
> Hope everyones brain goblins are ok in this time!

It figured that as soon as Tyson started navigating his feelings for Cale, the world shut down. People talk about getting a sign from God or whatever and if this didn’t scream that Tyson was not cut out for relationships, that he was destined to be alone forever, then he didn’t have curly hair. Tyson decided that moping and feeling sorry for himself was the right call, but it turned out that Cale had different ideas. The first few days stuck inside in Denver drove Tyson insane. Cale was so close, and Tyson had been prepared to finally pluck up the courage to have the first set of uncomfortable but necessary conversations with the other man. Tyson had meant to have this conversation the weekend before while they were away on a road trip, after all, it was common knowledge that those kinds of conversations were always best suited for the road. It was something about having nowhere to hide; having all the boys together forced opportunities to connect on a different level. Unfortunately, because Tyson is a mess on the best of days and a disaster on the worst, he got sloppy drunk after trying to soothe his nerves with some liquid courage and passed out by 11 pm. Let’s just say that Cale finding Tyson bent over the toilet as he emptied the contents of his stomach, with Andre patting his back to soothe him, was not one of his brightest moments. 

i. I could make you unlonely  
On the first day of being stuck inside, Cale messaged him about his day. This took Tyson by surprise because, for all intents and purposes, the two players never really texted at all. Their connection was forged through late-night talks on the road. Regardless, Tyson found that in the days following, every time Cale texted him first he would get a huge smile on his face. Eventually, Tyson got the all-clear to go home, it was a no brainer to go back to help out his mom and his grandparents in their new normal. Now being home in St. Albert, the internal stress about going to see Cale diminished and Tyson was able to relish in their daily text conversations. Although, a few days after Tyson had returned home, he was already itching to do something. A thought popped into Tyson’s mind that maybe a nice distance movie night would be nice so he sent a message to Cale asking if they wanted to watch The Incredibles 2 over Netflix and the same time. Unfortunately, Cale had no more Netflix, due to being kicked off his friend's account, but did have a list of movies pre-downloaded on his computer. Tyson figured it was better than nothing, they could still have their movie night. What Tyson didn’t consider was the hour-long debate of what they were going to watch that followed. Finally, they settled on some based on a true story crime movie and Tyson got himself all cozy in his bed. As Cale counted down to the moment they both had to press play, Tyson couldn’t wipe the cheesy grin off his face about how nice this was. For the remainder of the movie, the two boys swapped messages about their observations from the movie until it was late into the night. As Tyson bid Cale goodnight he was almost giddy with happiness about their inaugural date(?) night. 

ii. We should be drinkin' alone together  
Starting whatever Tyson and Cale were doing with this degree of separation was comforting to Tyson. If they had done this traditionally, Tyson would probably have been overwhelmed trying to deal with all the intricacies of their situation. He doesn’t have a great history with this vulnerability thing, with the most recent example of Tyson being ready to run away and change his identity after Cale asked to talk the first time. Colin Wilson had given him a long talking to about his behaviour then. By taking away a lot of the cards on the table and being forced to form a stronger emotional connection Tyson allowed himself to let his guard down a little. That being said, it didn’t eliminate Tyson’s ugly defense mechanisms rearing their heads. After this movie night, Tyson started reverting to his old habits of trying to start fights to push Cale away. Cale probably didn’t know what was happening but never engaged Tyson in an argument. He would just blow past Tyson's bitchy comments or overreactions which infuriated Tyson even more. Tyson felt like he was going to explode with anger and fear. He decided to vent to Colin and throughout that conversation, it became obvious how unreasonable Tyson was being. Colin advised him to be aware of his destructive tendencies but to not let the brain goblins win. Tyson felt like he could be all in and that scared the living hell out of him.

As the days passed, Tyson started getting irritated about this whole stuck inside things. He knew he was being irrational and bitchy while he sulked through the house but he could not care less. Tyson felt like the world was ending and that everything in life sucked now. This sour mood culminated in Tyson sneaking a bottle of vodka into his room as if he was a 17 all over again. He sent a Snapchat of his drink of choice to Cale while continuing his self-absorbed sulking and was surprised with the speedy response he got from the rosy-cheeked man. The reply simply read that Tyson drinking alone could be avoided and that Cale was more than happy to drink with him. Tyson’s shitty attitude was starting to break down from the combination of the strong liquor and Cale’s kindness. Also, shortly after Tyson agreed to a drinking buddy, he heard his phone ring with Cale’s name flashing on his home screen. The two boys talked about how life was now that they were home, and for a while, everything felt normal. They kept talking way after their respective drinks had been polished off and into them sobering up. Tyson had already crawled into bed listening to Cale complain about setting up the WIFI system in his parents’ house so that the family could get internet connection all over the house. As far as he was concerned, Cale could talk about anything he wanted, just his presence through the phone comforted him. After the duo finally hung up the phone, Tyson found it hard to get to sleep, maybe his dumb romantic fantasies could come true. 

iii. Darling, only you can ease my mind  
A few days after the phone call Cale mentioned he wouldn’t be against having another movie night and had downloaded the Incredibles 2. The kink in the plan was that Cale insisted on watching the original movie first but he had not downloaded that one. Tyson just really wanted to watch the Incredibles 2 and, in his opinion, thought Cale could just humor him for a second. That wasn’t going to happen and so they found themselves once again trying to find one viable movie choice. The biggest issue was that Cale had watched all the movies he downloaded and only wanted to watch movies whose plot he didn’t remember. Turns out Cale having a great brain wasn’t always an ideal trait. Two hours later they had finally chosen a movie and Tyson ready to punch a hole through a wall. As Cale once again counted down to the moment they pressed play, Tyson found himself shaking off the frustrations from the process and let him settle into the situation; that was until Cale texted that his power went off. There was a windstorm in Cale’s section of Alberta and it took out the power line by the other boys' house. Also, to rub salt in their wounds, when the rookie went to investigate, Cale tripped over the edge of his bed which sent him crashing into his old shelf. So now Cale had no power, a broken shelf, and his laptop was dying because he thought he could charge it later. It was fair to say that this iteration of movie night had come to an abrupt end. To say Tyson was unfairly frustrated was an understatement; he just wanted to watch the Incredibles 2 and now he wants to cry because of how badly this was going. The two boys agreed that they will finish the movie another day since Cale’s impending mental breakdown wasn’t quite a movie night vibe. After checking that Cale was, in fact, ok, Tyson bid him goodnight. The next day, after some good rest, Cale messaged Tyson saying he was ready to finish the movie. Now, not in the heat of the moment, all the craziness of the last day was pretty funny to both boys. Everything was, in fact, ok, and they finally finished their movie in peace. 

iv. Whispers in the dark  
Gabe had decided that team bonding was important during this pause which meant they were due to a check-in meeting. Most of the vets (@EJ) couldn’t figure out Zoom and apparently, Belly doesn’t have a computer so they opted for a group phone call instead. As the bonding session started, Gabe stated that he wanted everyone to have their full attention to the chat as everyone doesn’t get enough time together anymore. After a couple of inspirational quotes, that were periodically interrupted by Z, Tyson felt his phone vibrate. Switching so that the call came through his laptop, Tyson checked to see who would be texting him. It was Cale with a picture of a puzzle in front of him, captioned with the fact that he was giving his undivided attention to the chat which made Tyson laugh. Gabe decided that they were going to go around the chat and everyone was to say how they were doing mentally and how they felt about the season thus far. After the first few people went, Tyson got another notification from Cale saying that he was going to summarize each person’s small ramble in one sentence. The first being from Nate which could be boiled down to you can’t force me to talk about my feelings and that he was going to punch the next person who told him he couldn’t go skate. With each teammate that came on, Cale produced funny one-liners that made Tyson’s evening. The best one came when they got to EJ who had muted himself but couldn’t figure out how to unmute his microphone. Which meant when Gabe asked how he was doing the chat was met with nothing. Cale sent him a message that consisted of quotes with no words in between them which made Tyson laugh so hard that he almost fell off the couch which earned him a side-eye from his mom. Overall, the call was a success with minor swear words uttered and a one side argument once EJ finally got his mic working. However, once they all hung up, Tyson felt more alone than ever and missed his friends dearly. But texting Cale on the side all night as if they were whispering at the back of the class gave Tyson a lot of comforts. 

Tyson still wasn’t sure where this thing with Cale was going. The whole idea still scared Tyson, regardless of how embarrassing it sounded. Cale was proving that he could be trusted to hold Tysons heart in his hands.

+1. They say love is pain, so let’s hurt tonight  
A few weeks after returning home, Tyson’s media responsibilities were piling up. On top of running errands for his grandparents and their friends, he was appearing on live streams on behalf of the Avs. This meant that Tyson was not able to carve out dedicated time to spend with Cale, or whatever the equivalent was these days. So when, almost a week after the team call, Cale messaged him asking for another movie night, Tyson was more than happy to take a break. Since it was a Friday night, the duo decided they would combine their favourite activities by drinking along with the movie. They were getting better at picking a movie, and within the hour they had the Pirates of the Caribbean (Cale had finally admitted he did not want to watch The Incredibles 2) queued up on their respective screens; Cale nursing a rum and coke, while Tyson sipped his fruity cider. As the movie progressed, it became incredibly apparent that Tyson was drinking for pleasure while Cale was drinking for a purpose. Cale was much more chatty over the phone than normal and kept a running dialogue throughout the movie. Tyson initially welcomed this change, as he was usually the one annoying Cale with every idea that came to mind. When Cale gets drunk, he starts lamenting over topics he does not dare to address while sober. Tyson was amused at the current topic of debating team dynamics, all while Cale’s texts showed how intoxicated the rookie was. Tyson was enjoying his evening until the fragile walls crumbled down around him. Cale was talking about how it was hard for him to make connections when he said that he felt bad because, in his opinion, he had not formed any relationships on the team beyond a surface level friendship.

Tyson felt his heart drop in his chest. If Cale felt that way, then what was Tyson doing? Was he wasting his time forging this relationship that was, in Cale’s own words, just a surface level affair? Cale and Tyson had seemingly spent time getting to know each other’s past loves, their families, and other intimate details. Tyson knew that Cale was drunk, but it was not an excuse for making shitty comments. Tyson was not mad, he was just hurt, and that seemed to make the situation twenty times worse. He did not want to just brush this comment off, but Tyson also did not want a fight. Tyson told Cale as much and stated that he did not have the energy to spell out exactly why the comment hurt him. It was exhausting to feel so close to being comfortable with someone else and to have all that progress pushed back by one thoughtless comment. He knew that Cale probably didn’t mean any harm but Tyson couldn’t shake the achy feeling in his heart. 

For the first time in weeks, Tyson went to bed upset. When he woke up the next day he still couldn’t get the predicament out of his mind. Tyson knew he had overreacted but also knew that his reaction happened for a reason. He wanted Cale to make the first move, to apologize or something, so then Tyson could have a reason to explain himself. Conflict, especially when it exposed his inner vulnerabilities, was a tough subject for Tyson to deal with. He usually avoided conflict at all costs, much more willing to diminish himself or his feelings than to confront anybody. For some reason, Tyson felt compelled to lay his insecurities on the line so that Cale could better understand his sensitivities. When 24 hours since the incident passed with no sign of life from Cale, Tyson knew that he had to take matters into his own hands. The whole debacle seemed silly now, it was just both their insecure brain goblins rearing their ugly heads. Tyson recognized where his reaction was coming from and knew that it was on him to make the first move in clearing the air; he knew that this was not all on him and that both him and Cale needed to be held accountable for their actions. Tyson pulled up the notes app on his phone so that he could draft the text that he would send to Cale the next day. The only way to explain why Tyson reacted so strongly was expose the ugly insecurities that rested inside of him; he was not going to let a simple understanding get in the way. 

Tyson finally sent the text 48 hours after the incident. He was shaking profusely and felt like crawling out of his skin to hide forever, but he had sent the text that talked about his feelings. Cale finally replied that when he said relationship with the team it meant people that he saw strictly in that light; Cale saw Tyson as someone in his life, period. This whole first year as a rookie that caught peoples eye was stressful and often it made him look at his insecurities more than his success. Cale had taken responsibility for his actions which was a refreshing surprise. Tyson could almost laugh at how absurd and overdramatic they were being. They both feared their place with each other, they both had insecurities about their place in the world. By opening up just a little bit Cale and Tyson grew closer together and showed that they were not alone. 

That night Tyson went to bed feeling lighter. He had the bravery to expose some of his brain goblins and Cale had still stuck around. Cale had understood the gravity of what Tyson was exposing and had handled the whole conversation well. He felt seen and was starting to be less afraid of exploring this connection with Cale. 

One point to progress; zero to unhealthy behaviour.


End file.
